By the way... I don't feel in the best mood today because of some things that happened at school today so this may not be the happiest blog entry.. but it will suffice...
First off in general (this is not about school) I really struggle holding my own. If I get criticized for any tiny thing that is wrong with my appearance or something I did by mistake it hurts me so bad. I can't help it. I have tired to fix this forever and it doesn't work I promise, its just who I am. Today I guess I just felt like I couldn't do anything right. I couldn't put my hair up right I couldn't say the right things... I just couldn't do what ever it was I was suppose to... I guess basically I am just having a down in the dumbs day and its a horrible way to start my blog entry about the first week of my every quickly approaching life.
On a good note I love the way my classroom looks, though I am always picked on constantly about how elementary it looks, once again I am criticized. I have tried to make my room look as inviting as possible, but I think it only works on a small number of people. This week has been tough. I have been pushed and pulled in so many directions. I have constantly read e-mails that ask me to fill this out, do this, it will only take a second.... sometimes I don't think some people realize how important that second is to me.
I have grown to love one of my classes though. I know most of the kids from last year and they are just hilarious. They make me smile! :) Recently we have been doing hands on projects and they are doing so great with them. Yes I have to do the occasionally "don't get to loud" speech, but overall they are great. The project that I was so impressed with was called "Graph a Story," the students had to read a paragraph about a bucket of water where the water level was constantly changing and draw a graph to go with it. I was so amazed at how well they did. One group even drew a bucket and then put the graph on it, how clever! I think it is things like this that keep me going each day. I have already wanted to retire once or twice... I e-mailed my mom the first day to tell her that.. haha. Teaching is definitely the hardest thing I have done in my life. Going to college classes is so tiny compared to the challenges and tasks that are thrown at me everyday in my classroom.
I don't know what you are feeling or what you are thinking about this blog entry, but I think I have things under control it will just take time and God's guidance. I constantly think of my favorite verses to get me through...
"If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139: 9-10
Until next time... Jess
Hey Jess! First I totally understand the wanting to retire thing....my first year I was like oh my gosh this is not for me....but having those students and that class who really care will get you through the first year. If it makes you feel better....tons of paperwork and last minute do this and do that happened to the staff at my school this week. I think that is one of those things we have to develop patience for :)....hard but you can do it! As far as your room being elementary...whatever...its your room. If you enjoy it so will your students. Keep being positive...the first year is rough but I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT BC YOU ARE AWESOME. I love you and if you need to vent you know my number!! :)
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